The good, the fat and the ugly.

You know I was thinking about Fat and Ugly. Fat and Ugly.  They are just words that we use to describe something to categorize and organize thoughts hopefully in our minds  We are not attracted to certain things that are "ugly."  Our friends, the TV,  and society they assign certain values to ugly. And we know that now we must exclude this thing or person because they are ugly. But there is socially accepted ugly and even though are told that we should avoid this thing this person we morally must  accept this this repulsive thing with open arms. Now we have what is known as a complex and also contradicting ideas in our mind that we can't resolve. Fat means something that has excess extra, more than it usually should. Expanding beyond the bounds of normal parameters. It also talk the literal weird fluid fat that collects around our waste line.Also the word "Fat"  has ideas connected to it. It has lots of pain and regret connected to it and a weird morality I think, and bits and pieces of philosophy stuck in here and there, as can Ugly.

 Marque De Sade believed that ugliness was a form of complex beauty. As a man gets older and more sophisticated he likes the little wrinkles the battles scars on a woman. He enjoys hearing her bitch about something in the grocery store, the annoying rattly tone in voice. The truly illuminated realizes that "God" is in all and all have a certain awe and wonder. The dog poop on this ground that we step in gets moved across the field by our foot to fertilize and inspire the future life force that grows out of the dirty bacteria infested ground that gives us plant life and feeds us. It doesn't take long for the intelligent mind to grasp the beauty of it all.

But to understand things like fat and ugly we talk about AVERAGE You rarely hear the term average. Oh he's so very amazingly AVERAGE.  You  hear attractive and ugly, fat and skinny, but oh he was top in his class at being AVERAGE, you don't hear that.

Average and medium apply to what is midway between extremes and imply both sufficiency and lack of distinction.

 It's funny because many seem to want to be AVERAGE  and just kind of blend. They admire that and they work very hard to hide in plain sight like it's royalty. Just wanting to move around like a poorly  camouflaged army jeep from the 70's. Some strive for that normal blandness. They often sacrifice everything for it.

Now we see that in the new majority the black people where it was the white people that kind of blandness develop. That generic normality creeping in only much bigger and even more devastating. The  hip hop generic sleepiness that was just so cool to some. The white's were like Leave It to Beaver 50's crap. But now the AVERAGE game has changed.

There is such comfort in that isn't there? That big down blanket of normalizers slowly smothering us to death. But in these terms it's funny as normal must become excluded and alienated again in these terms and therefore normal here is the freak.

So  a guy was fat and he got persecuted. So now he is skinny. But deep down in his mind he's still fat. So now he gets upset when he sees a fat guy because it brings back bad memories and he's afraid. He's afraid he'll end up fat again. And he is confronting his former self which he is still fighting. So he sees this fat guy and the fat guy buys a candy bar and deep down he wants the candy bar and so he gets pissed off because it feels like a knife blade dragged against his belly and then to top it off the fat guy says something rude like,

"Would you please get off my foot."

So he ends up punching the fat guy after a whole game of mental "You sunk my battleship." But deep down he is really just punching himself and it will hurt him twice as much.

Then he hates the fat guy more because he feels bad not just one level but several different levels. But he can't feel that way, even though he does. He apologizes for being an idiot but deep down he feels that way.

So when he sees the fat guy he judges the fat guy that could have a chronic disease that makes him fat, he's also judging his former fat self and also he probably feels guilt over his new skinny self. This is a lot for a guy who's favorite past time is too watch football and drink a beer and he still has to pay the bills and go to work and try to have an average normal life.

All this crap connected to a word or an image. You can replace the word fat with drug addict or atheist, repdemonacrat or whatever your having problems with this week.

And you can have family also do this also.

" Oh don't eat that honey you don't want to look like your Aunt Sue."

And so then this family member dies or leaves and that memory is still there and so every where she goes she is haunted by this memory this ghost that tells her I am calling to you from beyond and to let you know that if you eat that cheesecake it's going to go right to hips. I the ghost Xmas's gone terribly awfully wrong declare  that you will look like a bleached beached whale before nightfall if you even think of touching that Pumpkin Roll.

So we rob ourselves of the joy of it all.

And now we can't enjoy being fat and we can't enjoy being skinny so we go to the doctor in search of Prozac and Valium to kill off that ghost in our head.



Fortunately there is a wonderful cure and curse for this. It's called middle age. It is a  strange and wondrous mystical time where you do just kind of fade in the background like a nymph or a sprite. I mean you can still yell and people will look at you but from now on your the loud old guy. You can be fat or skinny or ugly whatever and it don't matter because your the old guy. Now you may think this is a bad thing but actually it can be quite pleasant. I try because I want to but I don't really have to and that's  a good and a pleasant feeling. You can just about get away almost with murder when you are an old man if you know how to play the suit. But deep down you will always feel 17 even if some of the parts don't work quite the same.

Uh so you say I point it up for safety sake?

Hello...Hello...is this thing on? Shaka shock. Shaka Kowsky. Mike works. Well I didn't mean to start a blog just talkin to a friend and this may be the last blog I write. I dunno but well here we are.  Might as well get in to some good old fashioned ranting and piss some people off.s

So what about these people that thinks the world owes them a living? They've done nothing it seems but take up precious space but they think it's perfectly fine to glut up the gravy most of them get fat over thirty five while they laugh at the starving. Not that beautiful fat either. I mean the bacon grease fat. The barbecued chips fat.  If I had a nickel for every cancer ridden, bacon  grease mother slappin, crab infested, sour grapes,  poor excuse for a female that ruined my other chances with real women just so she could have the chance to take up space on my couch all day and sweat grease.  Hmm...I got a pile of crap in this hand to eat or nothing in the other. I think I'll grab some soap with my other hand and wash my hands of them all. I've settled for the wrong person before just to a have a modicum of normal well adjusted life. I stay alone you vat toxic chemical and harbinger of vile corrosive fumes. You narcistissistic disorder of a plague to future man. I won't do that again. Put those pigs in the pen where they belong. Oooh baby let me get lost in the rolls of your sweaty stinky layers of skin. An onion you ain't. Disgusting.